Everyone Says I'm Pregnant
by Oro
Summary: I'm pregnant! You're pregnant! We're pregnant!


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Everyone Says I'm Pregnant

AKA: An Ode to Toby's Masculine Man Sperm.

Written by Oro.

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Rating: PG-13

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Spoilers: Debate Camp

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Disclaimer: It's not at all mine. What were you thinking?

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Author's notes: Do not read if object mpreg. Also, I haven't seen the actual ep, but I heard rumors. Vicious rumors. Ones that are true. Bwahahaha.

**FEEDBACK**

Toby sat at his desk in front of a pile of documents he had to read by the following day. However, his mind had been preoccupied. He thought of what Andi had told him; what it would be like, being a father. A father of twins, nonetheless. That's… two babies. He'd wanted it for so long and now, finally, everything's been working out for him, for them. He remembered how hard trying to conceive had been. Toby was surprised by what he and Andi had accomplished after only one night. Two babies. He was both excited and proud of himself, in a way. He threw his rubber ball against the wall. It bounced back and he caught it immediately. Toby looked up as his office door opened to see Ginger walking in.

"Hey," she said, hesitant.

"Hello." He replied.

"How you doing?"

"I'm alright. My ex wife is having twin babies and I am the father."

"So I've heard."

"Yeah."

"Are you?"

"Am I the father?" Toby asked. "Really, Ginger…"

"No, I meant," Ginger chuckled, "I meant, are you alright?"

"Oh." Toby paused. "I am."

"Do you like the thought of having children?"

"Considering the amounts of time and effort I'd dedicated to the cause a few years ago, I'm going to have to say yes." Toby felt himself opening up to her in an uncharacteristic way. He didn't mind, though. He knew Ginger was to be trusted.

"Uh huh."

"Yeah."

"Toby?" Ginger asked, not looking him in the eye.

"Yeah, Ginger?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. I… I took a test. I'm pregnant." Ginger smiled, "and you're the father."

"Wha… what?"

"You are the father of my unborn baby, Toby."

"From when we…?"

"Yes."

"Wow." Toby said, trying to digest the news he'd just heard. Ginger was pregnant. Andi was pregnant. They were both pregnant. He was going to have at least three children by the following year. He was shocked. "I…"

"You're… happy? Thrilled? Excited?" Ginger tried.

"Of course I am." Toby managed a smile. "However, I am terribly shocked above all things."

"Yeah…" Ginger said sympathetically.

"I think I'm going to take a little walk. You know, clear my head."

Ginger did know. She offered to hold his calls, but he resigned the idea. Her eyes shined as she said goodbye to him, and Toby didn't know what to think of his situation. He smiled apologetically and almost ran into Sam.

"Oh, Toby." Sam smiled, "I'm glad I could find you."

"Hi, um… this isn't a really—"

"No, I think it is." Sam's face became serious. "I need to talk to you."

"Well, what is it?"

"Uh, away from here. Follow me." Sam grabbed Toby by the arm, dragging him into a nearby dark corner, which seemed to have been cleared in advance. Of course, it hadn't been, but it just seemed that way.

"Right." Said Toby. "What do you want, Sam?"

"Remember… well, of course you remember. You must remember. Or, you should. Anyway. My point is,"

"If there is one."

"There really is."

"Doesn't seem to be one." Toby said grumpily. Sam interrupted his state of shock.

"Do you remember… about a month ago, when we had to stay in late to work on the president's speech and I dropped the papers and we…"

"…Slept together?" Toby whispered. "Sam, why the hell are you bringing all this up? And inside the West Wing, nonetheless!" He snapped.

"I'm sorry, Toby, I really am." Sam paused. "Although, being inside the West Wing never seemed to bother you when…"

"Did you have a point?"

"I am pregnant with your baby."

"Sam?"

"I'm pregnant, Toby." Sam looked into Toby's eyes. "Aren't you happy, though? We're going to be… daddies." Sam grinned at the thought.

"This… isn't… happening." Toby said. His count was up to at least four babies as his shock slowly morphed into slight panic.

Sam's face fell. "You're not happy for us, Toby."

"No, no, no… no, Sam. I am happy. I am," Toby tried to breathe, "very, very happy." He paused. "Is there a chance I can talk to you later about this? I've got to go talk to someone."

"Who?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Um…" Toby searched his mind for a name. "Donna. I need to talk to Donna! Yes! So… I'll see you later." And with this Toby bolted to the general area of Josh's office, where he was met with Donna, Josh's blonde and vivacious assistant. She was particularly blonde and vivacious, and seemed very excited about something. She fidgeted. "Stop that." Toby ordered.

"Toby. Toby, Toby. Tobus."

"Donna."

"Toby."

"You seem to enjoy saying that."

"Oh. Yes. Well. Yeah. Sure."

"Yeah." They both stood side by side, each to their own thoughts. Toby, thinking about how he'd gotten three people pregnant in a short period of time, and Donna, thinking about something else.

"By the way," she broke the silence. "I'm having your baby."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Donna nodded.

"Alright. That's good."

"Oh, do you really think so?" She asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I really do. We could all live together with Sam, Andi and Ginger on Island Ziegler."

"There's an island now?"

"There will be, soon."

"Oh." Donna said, and their silence continued. Cathy walked by.

"Hi, Toby," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "I wanted to inform you that you've impregnated me last week."

"And you already know?" He asked.

"Yeah, isn't that cool?"

"It really is." Cathy turned to Donna. "Donna, how are you?"

"You know, it's such a coincidence! I was just telling Toby how I'm having his baby as well!"

"What a small world," Cathy said with a smile, then continued walking towards her desk.

*

Two hours later, Toby has already been notified about babies from Mark, one of the reporters, as well as Nancy, both Joey Lucas and Kenny, whose last name Toby did not know, Margaret, Nancy McNally, Bruno Gianelli, Bonnie, Admiral Fitzwallace and John Hoynes. All he wanted was for something very large and very heavy to fall on his head and kill him. Yet, salvation did not come, and by the time Leo came to talk to him about their impending baby, Toby was seriously considering owning his own island. Or a harem, perhaps.

"So…" Toby said. "You're having my baby, Leo."

"Yeah."

"Isn't that… well… no disrespect, but isn't that a little bit too late for you?"

"Mallory's always wanted a baby brother or sister…" said Leo with a sigh. "You're right, though, and I know it. I'd already discussed this with the president; we're both going to have abortions as soon as possible. We're going to be abortion brothers, so to speak."

"Good, good…" Toby looked Leo straight in the eye. "I'm sorry, Leo."

"I know you do. It's alright."

"Tell Jed…"

"He knows."

"Tell him anyway, okay?"

"As you wish."

Toby got up. "Okay. I need to go see some people." He said, grabbed his coat and rushed out of Leo's office. He knew where he was going; the one person who'd provide the most comfort, in his eyes. On the way to her office, however, he was confronted with an enraged Ainsley Hayes.

"You're having a baby with Josh, Toby?" She allowed her lip to shake. "What about us? What about little Maurice or Mauricette?"

Toby told Ainsley that Maurice and Mauricette will be okay. That he was happy to start a family with her, as well as Josh. He really did mean it; as exhausted as he has been, he really did want all of those babies. Not… at the same time… but still.

*

CJ smiled as he entered her office. "Hey, Toby." She greeted him as he sat down on a chair in front of her.

"Hey."

"Did you know," CJ said, "that the reason we can open our window without receiving a rather unpleasant shower of carps is most creatures in nature do not reach the age of sexual… readiness?"

"What?" Toby blinked.

"Yeah. I mean, the female carp lays millions of eggs each day, and…"

"I don't care that much."

"Okay."

"You're not… pregnant, are you?"

"Toby! Why, have I gained weight or…?"

"No, no," Toby looked down at his feet. "You look great."

"Oh." CJ chuckled, "thank you. What made you ask that?"

"Well, actually, it's that everyone is having my babies."

"What do you mean?"

"They'all pregnant, CJ… Andi, Josh, Ainlsey, Leo,the president, Ann Stark…"

"Toby, you slut."

"I guess you could say that."

"When did you find the time?"

"Oh, you know… here and then, you get a few free minutes…"

"Wow, Toby. I didn't know you had such… energy."

"I am a very energetic person."

"Apparently so." CJ paused. "Toby. You're an educated individual; didn't you know you're supposed to use a condom in order to avoid situations like this? Now you'll be putting 50 kids through college."

"I should've thought this over."

"You should have!"

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

"Well, I don't know."

"How come?"

"My mother warned me about guys like you."

"What do you mean?"

"Ones who don't wear condoms."

"I see you're… planning ahead." Toby blushed.

"Mama didn't raise no fool."

*

The moral of this story is actually a triple one. First of all, do not go shagging everyone in your office and if you do, always wear a condom. Second, is that Toby and CJ were meant to be together even if the entire world got pregnant. The third one is that you shouldn't mess with Oro, the Toby/CJ shipper. Thank you.

FIN


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